Day 53: More Hosts

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So we've been running this Open Mic at Cafe Hey for 4 1/2 years. First it began with me and my friend Penny, but about a year into it we realized that we needed some help. I recruited one of our regular poets to start to host too, and shortly after we had another poet step up and say that he wanted to host. Since then we've had a solid team of the four of us, and would take turns with the responsibility of hosting.

I've been so grateful over the years for this commitment that the others have made. It is hard work running a show every week and it's a lot for just one or two people to manage. I don't think we would have made it this far without help.

And with help, we are going a long way. It's gonna be awesome.

Day 52: Off Work Early

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I love my job, pretty sure I've said that before. I can work all day long and still feel great by the end of the day. That being said, it does feel good to be home sooner than expected.

Today was a long day. We started with meeting with my new doula client at 9am this morning. After some office work and lunch I saw two clients pretty much back-to-back. Then I started to get ready for my next client who called right about then to say they couldn't make it. Though I would have loved to work on them, the cancellation was a relief. I got to finish up the office work I didn't get to earlier and even run to the store to get some last minute supplies for my doula bag.

Last minute cancellations are not always a bad thing. Looks like someone gets to put her feet up. Ahhhhh....

Day 51: Free Yoga

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Did you know that you get a free yoga class at the

Lotus Pond

during the week of your birthday? I didn't until an email appeared in my inbox yesterday. So tonight I totally took advantage.

I've only been to the Lotus Pond a handful of times, mostly for kirtan (Indian call and response chanting) events. But every time, I am transported by the beauty of the space. I feel like I am away on a mountain retreat, though I'm only a few steps away from my day-to-day life.

Well, their marketing worked because I've decided that the 20-25 min. drive is SO WORTH IT. Lotus Pond, may I see you again very soon.

Day 50: Emotional Release

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For the past few weeks, I've felt that I needed to do a breath session. In the advanced bodywork system that I studied (

Structural Energetic Therapy

), we learned a technique in releasing emotional energy in the body that we call Emotional Energy Release Therapy, Emotional Release Therapy, Emotional Release,...you get the idea. It is based on techniques used in Alexander Lowen's therapy called Bioenergetics. We use a process of continuous, facilitated, deep breathing to charge the body with energy, break through energetic/emotional blockages, and allow more life/awareness/consciousness to flow through our body.

I've been feeling for a few weeks that I was due for a session. I would find myself being more upset about things than I knew I needed to be, or taking a long time to let something small go.  There were times of heaviness, of a lingering sense of unease, of only being able to see the things that were not going my way. I know better than this, but the funk was still there. Its because our bodies hold onto way more than we need it to, often the negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Those then come to shape our reality in negative ways, perpetuating the problem, and sometimes it is hard to get out of it.

As much as I didn't want to do a breath session today, my neck had been hurting the past few days and my throat was even a little sore (I think from yelling a lot this weekend at the Dance Party), I did it anyway. I breathed deeply in and out, knowing that I'd feel better in the end. I cried, yelled, screamed, even got up and hit the punching bag. I felt tingling throughout my body, a large concentration in a band around my diapragm/mid-torso and my hands. I got insights on the truly important things in life.

So many things went through my mind; though much of it are things that I worry about, I feel much better about them now. They don't have the charge they did previously. There is this feeling that everything really will BE OKAY.  I feel lighter and more clear-headed. Again, like whenever I return to yoga, I think, "What the heck took me so long?"

Oh yeah, and that neck pain, totally don't have it anymore. Amazing.

Day 48 & 49: Michael Jackson Dance Party!

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I have so much gratitude for the Michael Jackson / Prince Dance Party that

The Damn Jams

and Mermaid Tavern put on this weekend, that it is going to be my gratitude post for TWO days.

A few months ago, The Damn Jams (which is the hippest radio show in town - check 'em out on Fridays from 12pm-3am on 88.5) had a dance party at the Mermaid. Being the dance enthusiast that I am, I was out there workin' the floor and trying to get more people on it.  I suggested to the dj to play some Michael Jackson, and sure enough, after only the first few bars of "Rock with You" the dance floor was packed. Wherever you are, people love dancing to Michael Jackson.

A few weeks after the show I started insisting to my friend who's a part of The Damn Jams that if they want to have a dance party, they need to just make it a Michael Jackson Dance Party. They decided that MJ / Prince would be the best bet for creating a show with wide appeal and rich musical stylings.  But it is clear who's music I was most excited about (no offense Prince...).

I have been counting down to this party for weeks. Since I learned the Thriller Dance for Thrill the World in 2009, I agreed to teach it to others interested in dancing in a flash mob in the show.  We connected with Lindsey Lumpkins, who is running

Thrill St. Pete

this year, and got her a few more dancers to join us.

In short, the night was amazing. AMAZING. I danced for at least 4 hours. Our flash mob came together, though the Mermaid was so packed we hardly had any room, but it was still amazing.

The whole thing was really a dream come true for me. I got to dance in a room full of people to a bunch of MJ songs, see an incredible MJ impersonator (

Santana MJ

- CHECK HIM OUT), and have the time of my life. The only thing better would be if this became an annual event. I'm ready to start working on that.

Day 47: Patterns

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I noticed a pattern this week. I didn't post my gratitude yesterday for the second time this project. The last time I did this (or didn't do it rather) was last Friday. So that leaves me to wonder, what's the deal with Fridays...?

I will say the past two weeks have been extremely busy. As I have been known to say, I suffer from jack-of-all-trades syndrome. So though I am busy, everyone else is too so it's not really much of an excuse. But I'm busy with a ton of different things, which makes the business pile high and wide.

Good thing I have

self-compassion

to pick things up where I am at and move on...gratitude must continue!

Day 46: All Too Much

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I love it when one of our regular open mic-ers goes up to the mic and plays my favorite song of there's without me even having to ask.

Tonight, Barry did just that. Barry's been coming to the open mic for a years now. Though he had been on a hiatus for a bit, this was his second week back and we are glad to have him. About a year and a half ago, he turned me onto a fabulous George Harrison song, called, "All Too Much." I have

written about this song before

, but I will do it again. 

In less words, I will just say that I hear this song and feel relieved to know that someone else feels the same way I do. I feel it characterizes both the beauty and despair of the spiritual life.

See what you think:

Day 45: Surprise Dinner Party

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Last week my roommate and I made plans to have dinner with a mutual friend we hadn't seen in months. When we were going back and forth on what to make, I just said at one point that I'd handle it. I was off of work in the afternoon and really just felt like making a bunch of food. It turns out a friend of our other roommate's was coming over too, and so we had ourselves a mini-party.

I made salad, guacamole, fish, and rice (with help from the roommates), we played surrealist word games, talked about our trips over the summer, and had a great exchange of ideas and experiences. I feel so enriched, by food and company.

Its the simplicity of evenings like this that make me ecstatic just to be alive.

Day 44: La La La...

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I've been singing songs lately. Not that me singing songs is out of the ordinary, but it seems to be occurring with greater frequency. Mostly it's random melodies containing mostly "la"s, but I will find myself doing it everywhere: work (in between clients, not during their sessions), home, out at the grocery if I don't watch myself. I've started to notice it and wonder what it means.

I know what it means: I'M HAPPY. One does not walk around singing happy little songs to themselves when they are depressed. When I hear myself now I just smile wider because I know it means I feel good and if there are others around it means I hope to spread the happiness. Now I do hope I walk the fine line between happy and annoying, and that if I cross it, someone would let me know. Until then, I'll just keep singing.