A simple way to stop self-sabotage
/Is this you?
It comes to that time in your day when you told yourself you'd meditate (or walk, or write, or do one of the other 15 things you know fulfill your heart and soul), but you find yourself getting distracted by more important things. The dishes need to be done, phone calls need to be made, or maybe you feel the pull of just a few minutes of vegging out because you've worked so hard already.
Then the time for you to do that soul-fulfilling thing has passed. You think, "That's okay, I'll do it tomorrow."
Here's the thing: those other things aren't more important. They just appear to be that way because we think the soul-fulfilling thing is going to be "work.”
Not only that, but there’s a part of us that wants to avoid the truth we might find if we actually take some time out for ourselves. It wants to sabotage our chance to discover that truth.
We want to meditate, but first we have to clean up the room, get the candles, light the incense, change clothes, start the laundry, put on the right meditation music ... Or do we?
We want to walk, but first we think it's too hot right now, we will need to find our shorts, drink some more water, put on our shoes, download a new podcast, miss the arrival of the overly-friendly neighbor who likes to talk when they get home from work, and not get too sweaty because we have that event later ... Or is there another way?
We want to write, but first we have to open up the computer, which means we should check a few emails first, or maybe we should just find our journal, but first we should get these bills out in the mail, and anyways, we should wait until we have something to write about, right?
Let’s look a little closer.
When I had the first Fill Your Cup event last spring, a group of us gathered to shine some light on all the excuses that get in the way of us doing something good for ourselves. The students all seemed to share the struggle I know so well, where we tend to make up all these stories around why we can’t do that thing we know would be so good for us right now—not without all these other things being “just right.” We summed it all up with this statement, which reminds us that these excuses don't mean anything:
It doesn't have to be a big production. When you take time out for you, you don't have to make it a big to-do.
Sure, it's delightful to have a bath with Epsom salts and oils and soft music and candles and a tasty beverage … But I'd argue that it's just as delightful to run a bath and get it in no frills because in that instance, it’s more likely to happen.
If you are letting all the details keep you from doing the self-care you need, then you are missing the biggest detail of all ... the fact that those details don't matter. But if you're like me, you need someone to keep reminding you of this simple truth.
That's why I created Fill Your Cup: An Afternoon Retreat, so you can take some time out for yourself and learn how to use 4 simple tools for re-centering. They can be used anywhere at any time, so you can keep your cup full and continue to shine your light in the world.
What are the things you have to do to make your self-care "just right?” Is there a detail you can let go of so your self-care can become simpler and easier to do? Let me know in the comments below.
If you want to learn how to use meditation, writing, herbs, and aromatherapy to fill your cup every day, reserve your seat in the next Fill Your Cup workshop on June 23rd.
