Upset? Try this and feel better instantly.
/We all have those moments.
You know, the ones where we feel sad, upset, maybe start to cry or get angry. They are a natural part of life and something that we'll all experience one way or another throughout our lives.
Many of us are taught to suppress these emotions, stuff them down, and avoid them at all costs. And no wonder because who wants to feel bad and uncomfortable?
But the thing is, the more we resist tough emotions, the more they will persist. Further, the resistance of these emotions can lead to drug and alcohol addictions and other unhealthy behaviors (trust me, I know this too well).
As I've continued with my sobriety (a new things for me this year!) I've had to find ways of not avoiding uncomfortable emotions. Lately, I've been relying heavily on this tool and it's been doing wonders.
Ready to hear what magical tool I'm using to get through my touch emotions at light speed?
…
Here’s the tool that’s changed my life:
A timer.
When I start to feel myself in a deep pool of sadness or unbearable fear, I set the timer on my watch for 2 minutes.
Apparently, it takes only takes an emotion about 90 seconds on average to move through the body, when it’s uninterrupted. Only 90 seconds!
So when I spiral into dark emotions I tell myself, "Ok, just feel this for the next two minutes," and I stop what I'm doing and do just that.
For me it's often crying. I've cried in parking lots. I've cried on my bed. I've cried at work when no one else is there, and sometimes when people are. I've cried on the phone with my friend.
And you know what? Most of the time the emotion doesn't even last until the timer goes off. Sometimes it passes in under a minute.
Why not just sit and cry without a timer?
The timer give me a container. By setting the timer I’ve now agreed with myself that I’m just going to sit and feel whatever it is for two minutes. One of the intense parts about emotions is that we don’t know if they will ever stop, but by setting the timer I’ve created an arbitrary time limit on the feeling. Plus, I now have the experience to show that it does stop, sometimes even in less time.
Then I calm down, I ask myself what I need in the moment, and give myself some kindness or grace or comfort tool (a hug from a friend, a cup of tea, a piece of chocolate, a step into the sunshine, etc.), and I've been able to get through some really tough times without turning to unhealthy coping mechanisms.
I wished I learned this life skill years ago. But at least now you know about it too.
I want to know:
Have you ever tried something like this, feel fully what you're feeling as you're feeling it?
How long do you feel like it lasted when you did?
