Old Traditions, New Rituals
/I love me a good ritual. I usually define ritual as a "repeated action with meaning." I don't know if that tracks with how it's defined in the academic study of religion but in the academic study of my life, this working definition works for me.
One ritual that I've participated in for almost two decades is the weekly brunch with my parents. Pretty much every Sunday, I'd drive over to their side of town and meet them at our traditional brunch spot, the Riviera Cafe. This place has been in business since I was a little kid. Though the location changed when they built the Home Depot next to my parents subdivision, the menu is identical to the one I learned to read on and even a few of the waitresses are the same.
Not being able to go out to our brunch place was one of the sore spots for my family at the beginning of the pandemic. Luckily for me, I tried to always go with the mindset that our brunches would inevitably change someday -- my parents wouldn't always be healthy, this place wouldn't always be there, some drastic change in my life would fall upon me sooner or later.
During Spring of 2020, we figured out how to brunch "safely" together at their home on the porch, experiences I'll forever cherish. By Summer of 2020, we'd unknowingly have our final brunch together when my Dad passed away unexpectedly one Monday morning.
After coming to stay at Mom's indefinitely immediately following, we revived our own weekly brunch tradition at the house, which morphed into the ritual of tuning into Peace Train every week.
But now that I live back in my own house, Mom and I have begun a new weekly tradition of going out to brunch on my side of town. Last weekend, I took her to a popular place in our neighborhood called Trip's Diner. I'd never been there before, despite hearing all the good things, so if was a new experience for both of us.
We cheered our coffee cups after sitting down first our first official brunch outing as a two-person nuclear family. It felt so good to be back to a new way of the old tradition. Timing even worked out where we got to hear "Peace Train" on the way.
Traditions are meant to change, and the rituals that go along with them are meant to evolve. But by keeping alive the rituals that mean so much, we get to simultaneously honor the past while embracing the future.
I know that my brunches with Mom are also numbered, but by keeping this in mind I plan to not miss a single one.
You tell me:
What weekly, monthly, or annual traditions do you honor with a ritual either by yourself or with those you love?
How have you seen those change over time?
