How to Live the Life of Your Dreams

When I think about the life I was living a year ago, or even three months ago when I began my 2022 Writing Challenge, I am in awe of how far I've come.

It was only a year ago that I was still deep in the grief from my Dad's sudden passing in 2020, living at my mom's with no sign of moving out, and had recently realized that I had a dream of performing. I would fantasize of playing gigs at local venues, writing new poems and songs, and having a creative community to connect with and learn from. This was still before vaccines were widely available and I was living a very isolated life. I wasn’t working, having no idea how I'd even be able to "safely" see clients again, let alone where I could set up a treatment room. I was drinking and smoking cannabis everyday as a way to get by and spending almost every therapy session lamenting on how I just couldn't stop even though I desperately wanted to.

At the beginning of this year, some of that had shifted. Last Summer, I began seeing clients again at Gaze Hot Yoga, where I've found a home and incredible community. I began practicing yoga almost everyday. I had cultivated a creative cohort of local performers and through them found a tribe. One of them had invited me to play at Crowbar, a stage I had dreamed of performing on (and did in January).

On January 1st this year, I decided to commit to two things. First, abstaining from alcohol for 30 days. The second was writing a blog post every day for a year. A week into living alcohol-free, I decided to abstain from cannabis one day. And then the next day. Now I haven't smoked since January 6th. The me from a year ago would have found this unrecognizable and almost unbelievable. I've also continued to remain sober from cannabis and alcohol, and am so happy.

Today, I'm celebrating 3 months of sobriety from alcohol, 3 months of writing everyday, and tonight I'll be playing at Hooch and Hive, another local stage that I had dreamed of playing on. I'm looking forward to two more gigs that I have lined up over the next month, and in early May, I'll be finalizing my divorce.

The life I'm living now has become a dream life.

Sure I still have other dreams I want to fulfill, but I feel like I've got some momentum going to make those happen.

Want to begin living your dream life? Here are the three keys to living your dream life.

Clarity: The number one thing that got me here was having the clarity on what it is I truly desire. A year ago, I got crystal clear on the latent dream I have of being a performer. Once that came to the forefront of my consciousness, I starting to identify what activities would get me there -- even while many of us were still quarantining. I began music lessons and practiced my instruments everyday. I wrote and created as often as I could. I reached out to other performers I know to connect to and learn from them. When things opened up again, I went out to shows and started performing at open mic. Heck, I even set up a few shows from my house where I invited my friends to watch me perform for an hour. It was the same with the other elements of my journey. To get sober, I found clarity around that desire. I read books on the subject. I found other people in my life who were also on that path. Everyday I would remember why this was important to me.

So consider for yourself: What is it that you want or deeply desire? Why is it so important to you? It's helpful to focus on only one or a few things at a time at first, so you can be successful in the next key.

Consistency - Once you know what you want, it's important to maintain focus on that dream for an extended period of time. I didn't just play one show and think, "Cool. I performed now." My dream was to make that a regular part of my life. So I kept going to shows, I kept having conversations with my creative friends, I kept writing everyday. That's part of why I challenged myself to publish a blog every day for a year. I knew that by having myself on the hook for an extended period of time would allow me the space to grow beyond what I thought I was capable. I have already in only 3 months … I can’t wait to see what happens over the next 9!

Compassion - In any journey, you'll come across bumps along the way but you don’ thane to let it get you down. Turning a dream into a reality is messy. It often doesn't work out how you planned. So you've got to have compassion for yourself. You will mess up, but that's okay. If you keep your mind on the clarity around what's important and why plus remain consistent in working toward your dream long-term, you can find places for compassion as you figure it all out.

You don't have to be perfect because you already are. It's time to live out that perfection through embodying the life that you can see for yourself in your heart.

It is possible. I'm here to enjoy the ride with you.