Don't try harder.

I cracked up when I heard this, so it’s a good thing my client laughed too.

They were describing describing their current health dilemma of not being able to get to sleep saying, “Maybe I just need to try harder.” What they meant was do more things like mindful meditation, move their body, set up their bedroom, go to bed earlier, put their phone out of the room, all the sleep advice things.

There was something about the idea that you could "try harder to go to sleep," that made us both crack up.

I said, "You know that's kind of missing the point right?" They totally got it.

Though all those things listed above CAN help you go to sleep, when the problem is actually getting to sleep, which requires a letting go; taking control over more things isn't always what's going to help.

You can't really "try harder" to go to sleep.

It reminds me about what Martha Beck says about the best sex advice (that also applies to finding your true path in life). She recounts a friend who says when it comes to sex, "If what you're doing isn't working, don't try harder."

Any one who’s had sex that misses the mark can relate to this.

How often do we try harder at things when what we really need to do is try less, switch it up, do something different?

Even with activities that require striving to complete, climbing a mountain, building a business, pleasing your lover, how much farther could we get if we recognize something isn't working and decide to take a different approach or even just let go and see what happens.

Something to think about the next time you can't get to sleep ... or better yet, try not to think about it at all. At least not too hard.