The Gift and Grace of Saying No

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Sometimes we need to say, “No,” to something in our lives, so we can say yes to something else. When it comes to quitting a job, this can be terrifying. I had a friend write to me this morning asking for help. She said:

I'm doing something out of my comfort zone today and need a pep talk. I'm writing my resignation letter and I'm terrified that by quitting this job that doesn't serve me or pay anywhere near what I'm worth will burn bridges for me. Help!

So here's what I told her in return:

  1. There are many bridges, this is not your only one. By saying no to this, you are opening more doors.

  2. Think of it like a spell you are casting. In fact, it IS a spell you are casting. You're letting your employer (and the universe) know this is not a good fit for you. They will both respect you more and see that you are gaining clarity with what you want in life. The universe will then start to work to bring you closer to that. The employer, if they aren’t self-centered, judgmental, or tend to things personally and feel like a victim, will be happy that you’ve seen this. No good employer wants someone working for them that doesn’t want to and/or isn’t a good fit for the job. If they aren’t a good employer then clearly your making a great decision!

  3. Sometimes to know what you want means getting clear on what you don’t, which is what you’re doing so BRAVO!

  4. Your gifts are precious and deserve to be used. If this job isn't doing it then get the hell out of there! Life is short and the world needs you to be free to do your thing, my friend.

If you're needing to say, “No,” to a job, a relationship, a living situation, or any other life circumstance, you can apply these points to your situation. Even if you don't have to officially write a letter of resignation, like in the case of a job, you can write a letter of resignation of whatever it is you're saying good-bye to. This is a way to create a spell around setting your boundaries.

After writing, dispose of the letter in any way that feels right. Burning or burying are also good choices. You may also throw it away. If you wish, you can tuck it away in a secret place only to revisit in a few weeks or month from now to check in to see how what you've said no to created the place for something else in your life.