The Creative Journey

I am ready to start blogging again.

Last August, I accepted a job at the University of Tampa teaching a class on Creativity in for Communication, Journalism and Advertising/Public Relations students. Its a big challenge since I have never done anything like this before, but I am learning a lot about teaching, sharing, and uncovering my own creativity.

My intention is to share more about this on this blog.

It is difficult to read and teach about the creative process without doing it on my own. We are using The Artist's Way and Making is Connecting as our two texts books. One is about a spiritual path to creativity and provides a course framework for uncovering our creative selves including writing morning pages as well as various creative activities and assignments. The other is a cultural perspective on how making things connects us with ourselves and others with a particular focus on making in the digital world or "web 2.0."

So my attention is directed again to this blog project and how I feel I can use it to more effectively express and share my own creative journey, the journey I affectionately refer to as the "upward spiral."

We will see what happens...

...and Now, the Good News! (Part 1)

Around the time that the "bad news" began (mid-February), I had a simultaneous occurrence of good news.

I have always dreamed of opening my own healing center. At the beginning of this year, I decided to make the slow movement towards making this all possible, in time. I recognized that the first step would be to make some additional income through renting out my current treatment room. I decided that I was ready to find someone in preparation for creating the healing center of my dreams.

But the thing was, I didn't really want to put an add on craigslist and solicit to strangers. Ideally, I wanted to find someone that I possibly already know and could trust. Someone that had good energy and intentions and who's goals matched mine so we could work on building something together. I didn't really have anyone in mind, but I did desire for this person to appear sooner rather than later.

So I was driving to work one day in early February, thinking about these things, and I said to the universe, "Universe, I really want to make this happen but don't want to put an add on craigslist, and I would like it to happen soon. I'll give you a month. If no one appears within 30 days, then I will put out an add. But I will give you the chance to send someone first."

No kidding, two weeks later I received an email in my inbox with the subject "New LMT." The email was from Deran, the brother of a friend of mine who was recently licensed in massage and was asking if I was interested in taking a new therapist under my wing. Well, hot damn, I thought, my request totally worked! Deran and I had actually had a phone conversation about 6 months before when he was interviewing me for a project while he was still in massage school. I didn't know that I did already know this new therapist, but then I asked and there he was. Magic.

So as of a few months ago, Deran officially joined the Upward Spiral team. We are spiraling upward and onward and it turns out that this is just the beginning of a whole new project for Upward Spiral. More soon!

End of 101 Days! Well, Not Quite...

101 Days ago I began an ambitious project to to celebrate gratitude daily for over 3 months on several social media outlets. I would post a picture on Instagram (which would also post on Facebook and Twitter) and I would write a blog on here. The gratitude part is easy, but I hadn't realized when I began how I could get caught up in the putting myself out there part.

When I reflect on where I was coming into this project, deciding to embrace social media and dive right in, I see how it lead me to create this challenge. And it did what I hoped it would. It got me to write and reflect more, share that with other people, and even inspire some others to start their own gratitude lists. This practice has also helped me to become a better writer. I've also seen some incredible transformations in my life since I began including substantial increase in my work schedule, submitting for my first TEDtalk, publishing a chapbook, and just feeling great most of the time.

I also see how I have farther to go. But I think that's just the way things are. There's no end to the upward spiral, just an ever wider and fuller view of from where you've come. I had a conversation with a client that was asking about what to do about the tendency to beat themselves up inside and reflecting on my own experience all I could offer was that you have to move through it. We learn how to maneuver it. Maybe it becomes less like a struggle and more like a dance.

Gratitude is a good tool to change things up inside. For me it gives my awareness something new and positive to focus on rather than the negative. The more I strengthen that gratitude pathway, feeling genuine in my appreciation, the easier it it for me to draw my attention to those things even when I want to feel down. This is a constant practice that will hopefully go on throughout my life. This reminds me of something else I have reflected on recently...

So since I am still a few days short of 101, I have decided to keep posting when I get a chance until I reach 101. That okay with you? I knew you'd understand.

Now the question is: What are you grateful for?

Day 59: Sharing my Practice

Last night during my trying-to-be-more-consistent yoga practice, I had this moment of sudden wisdom. Occasionally, a thought comes into my head that feels too weighted to just be a thought. They are thoughts that can't be shook off or easily replaced by a new thought. They are thoughts that linger, steep, find their way into every bit of my body.  These are thoughts not to be ignored. These are more than thoughts, they are truth.

So last night, as I was moving from one pose to the next, it hit me: I chose to be spiritually alone. I don't think I really know the full truth of that statement, but there is something so right and almost comforting about this realization.

Without recounting the entirety of my spiritual life, I will state simply that I've felt alone through the journey. Maybe everyone does. Maybe that is the essence of the spiritual life. Maybe that is the fate of many of us living in a secular world without a secure and solid spiritual community around us. I don't know. But what I do know is that I've always felt out-of-place in some way. I've always longed for the spiritual community that I see others have, but I am unable to commit myself fully to any particular tradition. Usually, I say I am unaffiliated, which is a more neutral way of saying, "I'm spiritual, but just not religious."

In that flash that formed in my mind last night, I saw that so much of my life has been governed by this "

aloneness

" and I felt in that moment that it was not by chance or because of some wrongness with the world, but because there was a sacred choice I made when I come into this life that I would find my own path. It is amazing the power in recognizing one's choices.

Immediately after having that thought, I felt so thankful for my choice. I feel like I am free to find the divine in my own way, make up my own rituals, my own rites of passage, my own practices. I feel free instead of stranded.

***

I write this post in the aftermath of our second

Tea + Meditation

event. In all this aloneness, in cultivating the space within me, in my own way, I've found the profound connections this can create. Because I don't have a distinct community, all are my community. Tonight, nine of us shared a pot of tea and a moment together. All in our own space, yet we all affected the space for us all. I found myself saying, "You have a place, and that place is important." Then I hear the grandmother voice of wisdom within me whisper to the curious child beside her, "That means you too."

If I wasn't holding this space for others, those words wouldn't have emerged. They think I am leading the meditation, but I am being led too.