Day 47: Patterns

I noticed a pattern this week. I didn't post my gratitude yesterday for the second time this project. The last time I did this (or didn't do it rather) was last Friday. So that leaves me to wonder, what's the deal with Fridays...?

I will say the past two weeks have been extremely busy. As I have been known to say, I suffer from jack-of-all-trades syndrome. So though I am busy, everyone else is too so it's not really much of an excuse. But I'm busy with a ton of different things, which makes the business pile high and wide.

Good thing I have

self-compassion

to pick things up where I am at and move on...gratitude must continue!

Day 46: All Too Much

I love it when one of our regular open mic-ers goes up to the mic and plays my favorite song of there's without me even having to ask.

Tonight, Barry did just that. Barry's been coming to the open mic for a years now. Though he had been on a hiatus for a bit, this was his second week back and we are glad to have him. About a year and a half ago, he turned me onto a fabulous George Harrison song, called, "All Too Much." I have

written about this song before

, but I will do it again. 

In less words, I will just say that I hear this song and feel relieved to know that someone else feels the same way I do. I feel it characterizes both the beauty and despair of the spiritual life.

See what you think:

Day 45: Surprise Dinner Party

Last week my roommate and I made plans to have dinner with a mutual friend we hadn't seen in months. When we were going back and forth on what to make, I just said at one point that I'd handle it. I was off of work in the afternoon and really just felt like making a bunch of food. It turns out a friend of our other roommate's was coming over too, and so we had ourselves a mini-party.

I made salad, guacamole, fish, and rice (with help from the roommates), we played surrealist word games, talked about our trips over the summer, and had a great exchange of ideas and experiences. I feel so enriched, by food and company.

Its the simplicity of evenings like this that make me ecstatic just to be alive.

Day 44: La La La...

I've been singing songs lately. Not that me singing songs is out of the ordinary, but it seems to be occurring with greater frequency. Mostly it's random melodies containing mostly "la"s, but I will find myself doing it everywhere: work (in between clients, not during their sessions), home, out at the grocery if I don't watch myself. I've started to notice it and wonder what it means.

I know what it means: I'M HAPPY. One does not walk around singing happy little songs to themselves when they are depressed. When I hear myself now I just smile wider because I know it means I feel good and if there are others around it means I hope to spread the happiness. Now I do hope I walk the fine line between happy and annoying, and that if I cross it, someone would let me know. Until then, I'll just keep singing. 

Day 43: An Upgrade

Ever since I moved to my office a year ago, I have not been able to make a phone call from my cell phone (which is also my business phone) from inside the building. It has been incredibly inconvenient, resulted in many dropped calls and caused me to talk very close to the nearest window, which was often in another room. One of my other office mates had the same issue but switched carriers a month in. I was holding on for as long as I can.

So my phone started to break down in other ways recently, and I decided to take the opportunity to upgrade my phone and change carriers.  My dad offered to cover the cost of a new phone for my birthday and that's the part I am most grateful for. I wouldn't have gotten something so nice for myself, but took his phone recommendation and am happy with the result. It will even let me take some better pictures for this project. Super plus. I am blessed.

Day 42: I Love Yous

My yoga teacher recommended I integrate my daily gratitude with my daily yoga practice. He said fill my heart with the gratitude I feel for your daily gratitude for the day, with each breath. So today I was about to begin my yoga practice and I hadn't yet decided on what I was going to post as my gratitude for the day. Then, just like that, the answer came.

My friend that I hadn't talked to in a while called, so I decided to answer it. We spent about 10 minutes catching up and he ended the call the same way he does every time we part; he said, "I love you."

Most often I've shared those words with my parents, when parting in person or on the phone, and also some family. I also share those words with my boyfriend and a few close friends. Only recently have I started to cherish it more and more each time.

It seems like more of my friends have initiated "I love you"s within the past few years. Maybe its that I'm older and have known more people longer, or we are all more mature and know that "I love you" doesn't = "I want to have sex with you," or I'm surrounding myself with more loving people. Maybe, shmaybe, I don't really care what it is, I just want to say I love it.

Recently I initiated "I love you" with someone I feel close with but had never spoke the words in person. It felt amazing. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED. <3

Day 41: Self-Compassion

So I missed posting my gratitude yesterday. I made up for it today so I am still on track but broke my posting-everyday-streak.

And I'm totally okay with that.

It's funny, we talked in my yoga teacher training class today about reciting mantras as a practice and how typically you want to do a practice for 40 days. I've heard elsewhere that if you break a practice, you should start again. I think it is funny that I broke this practice on the 40th day, but I feel it is a good thing I signed up for 101 because as far as 40 days are concerned, I've got 40 (plus 21) more days to get it right.

The truth is that it probably doesn't matter to anyone else whether or not I post everyday. So if I get upset about it, it's just about me. If I have compassion about it, I can move on and have gratitude for that. I'll go with that route.

Day 40: Acupuncture

Technically this should have been posted yesterday but who's counting?

Yesterday I received my first acupuncture treatment in months. I have this great friend who is also a great acupuncturist and the only person I let put needles all over my body. Her name is Dr. Becky Rubright and she is the owner of

Living Harmony Healing Center

in Seminole Heights.

Dr. Becky listened to me talk about where I'm at right now and we both decided that a "tree of life pattern" was the best option for me. Becky's approach to acupuncture incorporates sacred geometry and knowledge of the chakras.  For a metaphorical metaphysicist like me, this is perfect. We used my session to encourage my growth in all spheres of my life.

It was just what I needed!

Day 39: A Successful Open Mic

Over four years ago, my friend Penny and I decided we wanted to start an open mic, a place where people could come and share their thoughts, their crafts, and themselves in a supportive environment.  Luckily for us,  a good friend of ours had just opened a

Cafe Hey

and did not have an open mic night yet. So on May 28th, 2008, the

Open Mic at Cafe Hey

was born.

With the exception of a handful of nights, we've held open mic at Cafe Hey every Thursday night since. It's gone through many evolutions but one thing stays the same: Anyone is free to share whatever they want. It is amazing to see what unfolds in a space like that.

I've said for a few years that I would like to write the book on open mic. Maybe I will, but until then I will just keep sharing and be thankful to those who share too.

Oh yeah, and we won Best of the Bay from Creative Loafing for the second year in a row this week! That's quite a feat because I don't think any of us voted. At least some others did!

Day 38: Completion

I start a lot of projects but complete only a few. So when I do it feels SO good. 

There have been a few things this week that have come to completion and I am feeling great about it. Though completion means the end of something, it also means the beginning of another. Life doesn't stay empty for long.  I'm working on getting more to the completion part and allowing what emerges after to come naturally. 

Less force. More grace.